Living with PTSD & CPTSD

Fear is part of what keeps us alive. It’s hardwired—meant to protect us in moments of real danger by kicking our bodies into high alert. But for people with PTSD or complex PTSD (CPTSD), that alarm system goes off regardless of whether there’s any actual threat. It’s like being stuck in a loop, forced to relive the worst moments, even when the world says you’re safe. One's mind and body is in a near constant state of agitation, activation and edginess.

PTSD isn’t just a military thing, though that’s the image most people still hold. Anyone can develop it after trauma—physical abuse, sexual assault, car crashes, childhood neglect, natural disasters, or even ongoing emotional manipulation. Around 3.5% of Americans meet the criteria for PTSD at any given time, according to recent surveys, but experts believe the real number is higher. Complex PTSD, which develops after prolonged trauma, is still under-recognized, especially outside specialist circles.

When Others Don’t Get It

One of the hardest things about PTSD and CPTSD isn’t just the symptoms—it’s how invisible and misunderstood it all feels. Friends, family, even some therapists may try to help, but unless they’ve lived it, there’s a gap. Well-meaning people can’t always grasp how certain sounds, words, or even a random smell can yank you right back into the moment of trauma. Sometimes they minimize what you’re feeling, or push you to “move on.”  Hearing someone offer trite solutions like "exercising resilience", "practicing positivity", and "talking to a therapist" signals lack of understanding and awareness. This lack of understanding isolates people further, adding a layer of loneliness and shame to the pain they’re already carrying.

Even among professionals, not everyone is trained in recognizing the full spectrum of PTSD or CPTSD symptoms, especially those that aren’t as obvious. Emotional numbness, dissociation, hypervigilance, and a constant sense of guilt or shame can be misread or dismissed, leaving people to wonder if anyone will ever truly see them.

Symptoms Aren’t Always What You Expect

After a traumatic event, everyone has some physical, emotional, or mental fallout. But when those reactions don’t fade—when weeks turn into months—it’s time to reach out. PTSD and CPTSD symptoms fall into a few categories, and they’re often more layered than most realize:

• Reliving: Flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts—sometimes triggered by the smallest things.
• Avoidance: Dodging places, people, or activities that might bring memories back. This can look like sudden changes in routine or even withdrawing from loved ones.
• Hyperarousal: Always on edge, easily startled, angry outbursts, sleep problems, or being unable to relax.
• Negative shifts in mood or thinking: Feeling numb, hopeless, or detached. Losing interest in what once mattered. Struggling with memory or concentration.

Substance abuse, depression, anxiety, and even physical health problems often show up alongside PTSD. If you ever feel hopeless or have thoughts of self-harm, please know these feelings are symptoms—not failings. Reach out to someone, even if it feels impossible.

Why It Happens—And What Helps

PTSD can happen to anyone, but you’re more at risk if you have a family history of mental health issues, lack social support, or experienced trauma in childhood. Your brain’s stress systems get rewired by trauma—it’s not a weakness, it’s biology.

Healing isn’t about forgetting what happened or “getting over it.” It’s about learning new ways to cope, gaining support, and sometimes changing how your brain and body respond. The most effective treatments right now include trauma-focused therapies (like EMDR or cognitive processing therapy), medication, or both. But even the best therapy can fall flat if the person helping you doesn’t believe your experience or tries to rush you. The best therapists validate your pain, move at your pace, and never minimize what you feel.

If you’re supporting someone with PTSD or CPTSD, it’s not your job to fix them, or to push them to share more than they want. Sometimes, just believing them—without judgment or advice—is the most powerful thing you can offer.

What You Can Do Now

• Track your symptoms: Write down what you’re experiencing and when it started. Bring notes to your doctor or therapist, and don’t be afraid to ask for a second opinion if you don’t feel heard.
• Prioritize your body: Sleep, nutrition, and movement matter—trauma lives in the body as much as the mind. Avoid using alcohol or drugs to numb the pain. They only make things harder long-term. 
• Find what works for you:  Everyone is different. Look for ways that help you rest and re-set.  It might be rock-collecting, biking, taking long walks, or being involved for hours on end with a favorite craft. While it's important to connect with others at times, it's also important to know how to safely get the space you need from others.
• Build your community: Isolation feeds PTSD. Even if you can’t talk about what happened, being around people who care can help. Look for trauma-informed support groups—online or in-person—and don’t give up if the first one doesn’t feel right.

Remember: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

PTSD and CPTSD can make you feel like you’re on a different planet from everyone else. But you’re not alone, and you don’t have to “prove” your pain to anyone. The right support—personal or professional—can make all the difference. Healing takes time, and sometimes it’s two steps forward, one step back. But your story matters, and you deserve to be believed, understood, and helped.

What’s one small step you can take today—to connect, to ask for help, or just to give yourself a break?